I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
