Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
