kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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