My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize