So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I pour the whiskey from now on
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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