i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
