Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize