Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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