I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
