Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
