Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You are the jesus of drinking
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
