so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
