so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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