They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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