Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
