i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
