We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
