I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
