so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
