smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
