69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
