My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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