The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
