Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just had sex on a roof
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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