Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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