help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
why do cheetos always look like penises
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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