Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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