its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
