I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
