I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
