alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Randomize
