I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Found your dick twin last night
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
