is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
