Just mADE A PArabola og urine
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Bring me that man meat
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
