You're completely useless in the revolution.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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