Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Randomize
