I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize