it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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