Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
