Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
