After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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