You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
