His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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