The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
