Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
