But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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