around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
