sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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