It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
