mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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