i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I AM VODKA MAN
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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