our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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