M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
