A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize