You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
