you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Randomize
