Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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