turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
