So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
