waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
