her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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