There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Randomize
