The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
