At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
