bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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