Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
