Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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